An Uncommon Family
My novel “An Uncommon Family” is now at the editing stage. One of the characters also appears in my published novel “Love of a Stonemason.” Both books, however, are independent from each other and can be read in any order.
The following is a blurb and the first chapter. This is a work in progress and there will certainly be changes. Bur for now: enjoy and leave a comment, if you wish. Feedback highly appreciated!
The working title is:
A chance meeting between a single middle-aged woman, a widower, and a semi-orphaned child in the city of Zurich, Switzerland, brings together three people who grapple with a past of loss and betrayal. Six-year old Karla Bocelli, who lost her mother and grandmother in a car crash, has a hard time accepting the reality of death. Anna Frei, her aunt and guardian, struggles with the shocking deception by her former husband and her shattered confidence in men, and Jonas Bergman, artist and teacher, mourns the death of his wife.
Through their common concern for the welfare of the talented but troubled child, Anna and Jonas become close friends and eventually develop feelings for each other that go beyond friendship. However, when Anna discovers a sinister secret in Jonas’s past, which reminds her of the cowardly behavior of her former husband, her growing confidence in him is shattered. While the two adults have come to an impasse, young Karla, who wishes nothing more than having an intact family with Jonas and Anna as parents, decides to take matters into her own hands. With the help of her friend Maja, an experienced schemer, she develops a plan to bring the two uncooperative adults back together. The plan, however, has serious flaws and as it begins to unravel, Karla is forced to learn some difficult lessons.
An Uncommon Family is a story about loss and betrayal as well as the power of love and forgiveness.
Sounds interesting? Here is the first chapter, still in draft stage, so it will most likely encounter some changes.
Karla took another lick from her ice-cream cone, then turned around and peered through the window of the art shop, where her aunt picked up two framed pictures. When she looked back at the sidewalk, her breath caught.
“Mama?” she whispered.
She saw the woman only from behind, but the bounce in her step, the long, reddish-blond hair flowing down her back, swaying left and right, the tall, slender figure–it must be her mother. She tossed the rest of the ice cream into the trashcan, got up, and ran after the woman.
“Mama!” she called, as the woman got ready to cross the street. The light turned from blinking red to solid red, just as the woman reached the other side. Karla rushed after her, barely aware of the honking around her or of the shrill warning-bell of the blue-and-white street car. She heard someone yell at her but by then she had arrived at the other side. The woman was walking along the river toward the Lake of Zurich.
“Mama, wait!” Karla bumped into someone.
“Watch it, kiddo.” A man stepped aside.
“Mama . . .”
The woman finally turned around and looked back, scanning the people behind her, then walked on. Karla stopped dumb-founded. It was the face of a stranger.
A wave of despair washed over her. Not believing that she could have been so wrong, she started to run again. She didn’t see the slight indentation in the pavement. As she fell, she barely noticed the searing pain in her knees; the disappointment hurt more. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed. Mama would have helped her. Mama would have picked her up, hugged her, even sang a little tune to her to make her feel better. But her mother was gone.
“Are you hurt, honey?” a dark voice said. Karla felt a hand on her back. “Come on, let me see.”
A pair of strong arms lifted her up. She looked into a face with a grey-white beard, and kind, blue eyes below thick tufts of eyebrows. The man was tall and sturdy, with wildish white hair. He reminded her of Saint Nicholas. But it was summer and Saint Nicholas only appeared in December.
“Are you here alone?” he asked. “Where’s your mother?”
The question brought a new flood of tears. “I thought it was Mama.” Karla managed to say, her chest heaving with sobs.
“Karla, what happened? Why did you run away?” Aunt Anna came rushing toward her, clutching her purse and a large package. “I thought I’d lost you. Jesus, what happened to your knees?” She bent down, put the package on the concrete and examined Karla’s legs. Brushing a strand of wavy brown hair out of her face, she peered at the man with penetrating grey-blue eyes, the color of ice. “What’s going on here?”
“I just happened to walk by when she fell,” he explained. “She said something about looking for her mother. Are you her mother?”
Anna shook her head. “No, I’m her aunt. Her mother . . . died half a year ago.”
“I’m so sorry.” The old man gently touched Karla’s cheek. “But she thought she saw her mother.”
Anna sighed. “She still hasn’t accepted the truth.” She turned to Karla. “Tell me what happened, sweetie?”
Karla told her in-between sobs that a woman had walked by who looked exactly like her mama.
“But you know, that’s not possible, don’t you?” Aunt Anna hugged her. Karla leaned her face against Anna’s chest and poured her sorrow into her sweater. It was soft but didn’t smell like her mama’s. Anna waited for her to calm down. “We have to take care of your knees.”
“There’s a pharmacy right over there? I’m sure they have something to clean the wound and some bandages. May I?” Saint Nicholas gave Anna an inquiring look.
Anna nodded and the man lifted Karla up. His thick hair tickled her cheek. Karla wrinkled her nose. He gave off a whiff of smoke, which reminded her of Anna’s wood stove. It felt a little comforting.
At the pharmacy, a friendly lady took care of Karla’s knees. She wiped them clean, trying not to hurt Karla, who flinched and gave an occasional sob. “Sorry, hon, but we don’t want it to get infected.”
While the woman bandaged Karla’s legs, Anna unwrapped the package she had been carrying. She handed Karla one of the pictures and held the other one up for her to see. “Don’t they look great?”
Karla nodded with a weak smile. They did look nice. She barely recognized them again behind the glass and surrounded by a fine wooden frame. One of them showed a woman, sitting on a chair and holding a little girl in her arm. The woman had long reddish-brown hair and the girl’s hair was black. They were sitting in front of a house. The stones in the wall had an irregular shape, they looked a little bit like cobble-stones. It had taken Karla a while to make them look right. The other picture showed a large tree with large purple and cream-colored blossoms. It was the chestnut tree in front of Karla’s old home. She had painted the pictures with her favorite pastel pens.
“They’re gorgeous,” Saint Nicholas said in his deep voice. “Who painted those?”
“Karla did,” Aunt Anna said.
Saint Nicholas starred at her, then at the pictures, then at Karla. “How old is she?”
“Six,” Karla said, brushing the last tears off her face. Anna handed her a Kleenex.
“And she painted those by herself, without help?” The man squinted as he scanned the pictures. The wrinkles on his forehead and around his eyes deepened. He truly did look like Saint Nicholas.
“Yes,” Anna said.
“This child is very talented. Does she get any instruction?”
“I’m actually looking for a teacher for her. She loves to draw and paint. If it was up to her, she’d do it all day long. And it seems to help her with . . . you know, the loss.”
“Amazing.” Saint Nicholas shook his head and continued to scan the pictures. “Well, I happened to be a painter myself. I also teach a few children.” He looked at Karla and Anna with a serious face. “I’d love to have her as a student.”
“I’ll think about it. That would be great,” Anna said.
“Why don’t you check me out.” The man handed Anna a small card. “I have a website, too, with some links that give you a little more information. I finally broke down and tackled the internet with the help of a friend. I guess it’s almost a must in today’s world.” He laughed in his deep, sonorous voice. Then he became serious. “Whatever you decide, you don’t want a talent like this go to waste.”
Anna studied his card. “Very interesting, Mr. Bergman.”
“Call me Jonas,” the man said.
“Anna,” Karla’s aunt said as the two shook hands.
“You’re not Saint Nicholas?” Karla asked, surprised.
Aunt Anna and the man laughed. “No, I’m sorry. You think I look like him?” He brushed through his wavy white hair.
Karla nodded. “But you wouldn’t come in summer, would you?” She looked down at her neatly wrapped knees. The talk of drawing and painting had pulled her out of her deep misery. “Are you going to teach me?”
The man smiled at her. “You talk this over with your aunt, all right?” Then he glanced at his watch. “Oops. I guess I missed my appointment.”
“I’m so sorry,” Anna said. “We caused you all this trouble.”
“Don’t worry. No problem at all.” He bent down and put a hand on Karla’s shoulder. “And, Karla, I know how much it hurts. I lost my dear wife a few years ago. We were together for over twenty years. I still miss her. But I can promise you, things will get better with time.”
Karla took a deep breath and nodded. She had heard the words many times before. “Mejra lost her mother, too.”
“Mejra is a friend of hers, a girl from Croatia,” Anna explained.
At home, in their house in a small town near Zurich, Aunt Anna fixed lunch. She heated up the left-over bean and vegetable soup and made grilled cheese sandwiches with tomatoes. The smell of food awakened Karla’s appetite. She was quiet and thoughtful but no longer desperate.
“He was a nice man,” she said, folding the colorful paper napkins she had made herself with potato stamps.
“Would you like to take drawing and painting lessons from him?” Anna poured the soup into bowls and slid the toasted sandwiches onto the plates.
Karla nodded. “Yeah, that’d be cool.”
“Cool, huh?” Anna smiled and gave the girl a hug.
September 17th, 2010 at 8:47 pm
Ooo la la 🙂
September 17th, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Ooo la la, Ms. KindleObsessed, that could mean many things!
September 20th, 2010 at 7:32 pm
Really like the opening/setting–and the blurb too!
September 20th, 2010 at 8:17 pm
Read the blurb and it sounds interesting! I need to find some time to read your first book. My wife is also interested in reading it. Guess I'll be getting her a Kindle before long! 😛
-Neal
September 20th, 2010 at 11:01 pm
This comment has been removed by the author.
September 20th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
Thank you, Jess, Neal, and Misty for your comments.
Yes, Neal, you need a little time to read Love of a Stonemason. It's fairly long. I received my literary education when fat books like "War and Peace" were the norm. Today's readers' attention span is a little shorter. LOL. The novel I am working on is quite a bit shorter. I learned my lesson!
Take some time off, put your feet up, and I hope you enjoy it.
Christa
September 21st, 2010 at 5:57 pm
There's nothing wrong with a lengthy novel! But, alas, most readers today seem to want shorter books. I can understand that sometimes. But I'm used to reading books by Rand, King, McCammon, and Maberry, so a lengthy book is no worry to me. 🙂
-Neal
October 7th, 2010 at 7:47 pm
I am reading and enjoying LOVE OF A STONEMASON. Its length is part of its charm — there's always more to come!
Lindsay
October 9th, 2010 at 2:28 am
Thanks Lindsay. I'm happy you like it. I hope I soon get to read something of yours!
Christa
December 12th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
very nice sense of setting; the reader feels right there. well done
December 12th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Thanks, Thea, for the kind words!
Christa
December 12th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
I like it. It kept me reading. I'll RT.
December 12th, 2010 at 6:06 pm
Hey, thanks Edie!
December 12th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
I like the premise and the characters are intriguing.
December 13th, 2010 at 7:13 am
Thanks Patricia for stopping by!
Christa
December 14th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
Christa, I loved the opening chapter! Great characters, well-drawn. I very quickly came to care for Karla and Mr. Bergman. I found the opening scene touching and believable.
My only critique would be about the blurb. I think you tell us too much. For me, less is more with these things.
But I hope you'll be posting more from the book. 🙂
David
December 14th, 2010 at 9:21 pm
Thanks, David, I'm glad you liked the chapter. BTW, you are the second one who felt the blurb was too long. I'll have to work at that.
Christa
December 19th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Found your chapter through #SampleSunday. Although not normally the sort of writing I would read, I really enjoyed reading the chapter. Very good writing, IMO. I love the child's voice.